Kindness-Sharing is Caring !!

Kindness - Sharing is Caring  

                       To write about an act of kindness that inspired me should be actually easy ! Or that's what i thought , until i sat down to actually start writing on it .But nope, my mind drew up a blank as the clock went on with its tick-tock. It has been more than an hour since i opened the blank word document. And it was still blank. "Come on, it shouldn't be so difficult to remember a profound act of that cadre". It is not like i had never witnessed or experience kindness. But still i had no clue as to why my mind was clogged up and wouldn't let me remember. I felt that if i tried too hard  to remember and then wrote about it , it would definitely resemble a superficial one. So i gave up  and went to bed.

                          And just as i was about to drift off into my Neverland, my brain didn't fail me. It came up with the imagery. Yup I finally got one. It wasn't what i expected but it led me to think more deeply about kindness.

                          So what was the imagery? I am sure you would like to know . It  was of my  1.5 year old niece sharing her favorite snacks "Lays" with us. She always takes a bite , then takes turns to give  us a bite from the same chip . The first time she did it, i was surprised. For we had not asked her for the chips  or told her anything about sharing.  Then there was this incident, we were out  and we happened to pass by a cute black puppy . She stopped us and showed us the dog and said bikky , which means biscuit in her language :P. What she was trying to say is , that she wanted to feed biscuits to the puppy.  Awwwww !! Yup that was my reaction.

                            This led to another memory of my own. New city ,New school, first day  and already late. So i get to sit in last bench. I couldn't understand what was being said or taught and i was feeling down  and almost on the verge of tears,  when i hear a sound "psst". I turn around to check where exactly is the origin of sound and there it was again .  The girl sitting on the bench beside me, smiled at me and waved . She took a chocolate from her box and asked me whether i wanted to have it . I said no, but she broke it into half and leaned over and kept it on my hand . I smiled in return as we both secretly munched on the chocolate.  Nevertheless to say , I felt better. That was my first stint with friendship and kindness.

                             Kindness :  The act of being friendly,generous or considerate.  Kindness can be inculcated from childhood. Yes, but as people age such kindness require a constant and conscious effort from the individual to be implemented .  Sometimes when  people are caught up in their life , they stop making the effort. But blessed are the people who are kind by their inherent nature. And blessed are we to be present in their midst. For they don't require any effort to be kind. Just like a kid sharing his/her things with a sibling or friend.  And I wish  that the universe should always be blessed with  the presence of such people.

Lost and Found.

         She walked across and sat on the ledge, her legs dangling. Cool breeze wafted around her,unsuccessful in its attempt to deter her resolve.She knew that it was a crazy idea.But she had always been reckless.It was the final act aimed at deliverance of  the soul  from the darkness surrounding it. Just a flicker of light would be sufficient to vanquish the darkness.Her wait in the hope of discovering it had been unrewarding
    
         She was a brave soul,for she always swam against the tide. She held pride in the fact that she was never attached to anything or anyone.Nothing would faze her. And then the catastrophe struck.She fell in love with the guy.He wasn't perfect, but she felt he was the one.She couldn't stop herself from falling for him,even when she knew that her love will never be reciprocated.

         It was a blessing as well as a curse. She lost herself in thoughts, daydreaming about things that would never happen.It was pleasant at first, but then the pain crept in .Then came the darkness,changing her completely.She didn't acknowledge it, until the day she realized that she couldn't identify the person looking at her when she stood in front of the mirror.
             
       She resolved to let go of everything and be as she was before it happened. But it was easier said than done; for she realized that her thoughts were a tyrant and tried their best to enslave her once again.But she fought hard against her own mind and soul for their control.The battle was fierce and prolonged, but her perseverance paid off as the thoughts started to lose their foothold in her mind.

              And now,as she was sitting on the ledge, she contemplated on the experience that was awaiting her.
She had decided  her course of action to vanquish the remnant darkness by choosing to do the one  last thing in her bucket list .She took a deep breath and let out a joyful whoop as she leaped off the edge. She could hear her friends cheering her as they waited for their turn to bungee jump.She had found herself again.





   

Speak Up..We all need that one friend..

We all need that one friend..

 Sometimes, words are not enough to portray or convey the feelings or thoughts.And if we are not able to find a way to convey them, then there is no use in worrying about it.

It isn't fair to assume the reason behind one's actions or words. The problem is that,we just can't seem to muster our courage and talk about it.

Mostly because of the fear of being judged and laughed at. We  would rather  bury it within our minds and act as if life is peachy.But there is always a consequence.

As days pass, the burden will increase and reach a point where it will affect the very core of our life.All you need is one friend to share them.
He/She might even be a total stranger or a close friend.Only if we share our thoughts, we will know how it will be received.
It is silly to assume the reactions of other people and  worrying.But at the same time ,even if that friend reacts differently than expected, be ready to accept their views. Open up,share your thoughts and you will realize the burden to have vanished.Hope you find your friend. I have..

Dedicated to that friend of mine.

To Let Go

Precious as they were,

It was time;

Glorious they have been,

But eons ago;

Influential as they were,

Inert in a moment;

Magical as they felt,

Charms vanished;

Musical as they were,

Rhythm less they are;

To cure the affliction,

To feel alive,

To find peace,

To be upbeat,

Abdicate TheM,

Kiss TheM Goodbye

TheM: The Memories,

For the soul is tangled,

In their web;

Crushing it, as their burden,

Increased

The Beauty In You

Never seen a maiden so fairer,
they said, but i knew better,
as my eyes beheld my simulacre,
my heart opined, it's just exterior,
and it doesn't matter

Oh dear, why won't you approbate,
the beauty in you, they implored,
Oh yes I replied, am defined a beauty,
by my visage, nevertheless, holds
no value for me, with a soul,
so tarnished

As i walked down the aisle,
Ooh's and Aah's of the people,
awed by my mien's dazzle,
filled the hall of the bethel,
yet, my eyes fell,
only on the human male,
who had partly mended my soul,
for his words though were beautiful,
their reach was small,
his heart so admirable,
deserved an equal

In the days of your impending arrival,
oh boy, was i still skeptical,
But when i held you it was magical,
your innocent, toothless smile,
the sparkle of your eyes,
all the temper tantrums,
the puppy face, the mischievous look,
oh my dear, i realized, what a beauty,
a soul so full of life!

Millions of words, spoken about me,
the fair maiden, none can match
the single and most precious word,
that you uttered, completely healing,
my tarnished soul

It was the beauty in you, my darling,
that rendered me attractive,
in my own eyes, for my soul,
now complete, no more just a
fairer maiden, but the mother
of my precious gem, you, my child
and for that, am forever grateful to you.

CLUELESS

CLUELESS...

Sometimes, the word which will help us express ourselves clearly, goes out of reach. This happens either if its existence wasn’t given due attention for a long time, or over usage of the same, that it refuses to embrace us with its presence in our times of need. The gnawing at the back of our minds doesn’t stop unless we find the answer. It is a frustrating experience.

            And the frustration increases in multifold, if it is memories that are lost. At present, this is my predicament. 

            I am Anamika, or that is the name by which the doctors and nurses have addressed me. The only memories, I do have are of the seven days that I have been awake. Someone or something seems to have taken time to clear out my history of days, months and years earlier to that.

            I woke up screaming at the top of my voice as I felt the exploding pain in my head. Every sense of my body seemed to be on high alert, making the pain more effective. My vision blurred in and out, as I thrashed at the restraints holding me. I could hear a throaty voice giving orders and now there were several hands holding me in place. I felt a prick on my arm and minutes later, the pain eased away and I drifted into a dark cloud.

            After hours, I woke up to a man’s face peering at me. As I sat up startled, a pain shot up my arm and head and I winced. Immediately I felt strong hands helping me to lie back on the bed. As I lay, I tried to observe him. Sharp eyes, narrow jawline and stubble were all I could observe before his voice distracted me. I recognized his voice when he spoke. It was the same voice which I heard when I woke up last time, the one which gave orders.

            “Hi, I am Dr. Sunil, a neurosurgeon. How are you feeling?” said he.

            “Groggy” was all I could say. He smiled a little and said

“That is because of the sedative and the medicines. It is as expected. You need not worry about it. Any discomfort?”   

I pointed to the restraints holding me in place and said “Why am I being held?”

“That is just a safety precaution, so that you don’t end hurting yourself. I will ask the nurse to take it off. Anything else?”  

As I shook my head as a reply, I had a dizzy spell for a moment and I heard him say “You have undergone a brain surgery, so try not to move your head suddenly.” 

“I had a brain surgery done on me?”  I stared at him in confusion “What exactly happened to me?”

“Well there are some things we would like to know too. Are you tired or feeling alright so that we can continue this talk?”  Confusion and curiosity overcame my tiredness and I gave my assent for the conversation to go on. 

“You were brought in an unconscious state, by a cab driver and you had suffered a severe head trauma which required immediate attention. But he couldn’t shed light on how you came by this injury. The police officials were intimated as per the formalities and they have been trying to identify your family so as to notify them. But they have got no leads and the puzzling thing is, none of the missing complaints matches your profile. The inspector, who is investigating your case, has been here daily to check on your status. He might be coming today also.” He looked at his watch and continued,

“I have explained him already that you are in no state for questioning. But he had requested me to have a conversation with you and find out, as he felt it might not be as stressful as it will be for you when he does the inquiry and I concur with him. So would you like to tell me about you?”

            That’s when the wheels in my mind started turning but it didn’t do any good for it hit an obstacle. I couldn’t remember anything. My face should have been all scrunched I guess, for I heard the doctor say  

“Easy now, you don’t have to strain too much. Let’s start with something easy. Since you know my name, it is only fair that I should know yours too. So will you tell me your name?”

And so I urged my mind to remember till my head started hurting, but the result was the same. I didn’t even know my name and as the truth sunk in; I started to hyperventilate and had to be sedated.

So, it has been seven days since I am trying to recollect my memories, but failing admirably. Everyday Dr. Sunil and his colleagues take on different approaches in helping me. Even the inspector tried to help but nothing seems to be working. The doctors and nurses started addressing me as Anamika and when I asked Dr. Sunil about the name choice, he said that in US they used to address unidentified patient as Jane Doe and since it is not used in India, the staff came up with this name. 

With every idle minute that passes, I feel lonely. Solitude can be a solace when one has the memory of moments spent as their companion. But when no memories are there, one can only despair in the solitude.

A year and two months later…

        It has been a little more than a year since I woke up in the Critical Care Unit of the City Hospital. Days passed, then morphed into months which has now transformed into a year. I am still clueless about my past like I was then. Somewhere along the lane, I stopped trying to remember. I didn’t want to waste my life trying to remember the past lest my future too would slip away. 

            Fate plays tricks on us many a times .It tricked me too. What seemed like a cruel one then, might have been its way to help me out .I might be clueless as to who I was in the past. But now, I certainly do know who I am. I am Anamika, a survivor.

Is God, biggest tyrant/Sick n tired of atheist moron

Disclaimer: I am not a prolific writer and neither am I a profound thinker; To write on a topic that requires reasoning ability and all that jazz, is tough job for me. So the below write-up might be confusing and nonsensical. So I happily welcome all the hate mail and rotten tomatoes and what not to my inbox. Definitely no intention to offend anyone. This is just a post by a confused soul. So apologies in advance if it hurts anyone inadvertently.

Is god the world's biggest tyrant? No, I don't think so. Am I sick n tired of atheist morons? Nope, definitely not. But, hell yeah, am pretty much tired of this conflict that is going on for ages.

It s all about beliefs isn't it?  Not all people are same. Human beings are unique in their own way and differ from each other. When people are different, it's only natural that their beliefs too will be different. And there is nothing wrong about it. So why do we have to argue about it. Won't it be fair to all, if we agree to disagree? We can't do that, can we? Cause it's not in basic human nature. We always want to be the one who's right and we love to prove others wrong. Its not in the human nature to not investigate about a mystery. We have this insatiable urge to define unexplainable things; otherwise we would all die of curiosity *yeah ,right*

(My take)

So human beings would have wondered about their origin and they came to believe in a divine power and coined the term god. Probably they were grateful and wanted to offer thanks. But how can u say it to someone who is unseen. So they used their imagination * oh boy, aren't we good at that* and result gods in various forms. And they probably started worshiping asking for continued blessings.

Days passed and peoples' progenies would have come onto this earth and when the elder generation tried to instill the beliefs in them, some of the younglings would have raised the questions "Why? How" and what not. *observed from each generation, the next one never accepts what the elders say without asking questions*. The elders would have a hard time to convince the young ones and so to aid them, they would have created the myths and legends *well, it's very easy, you know?? All you need is an vivid imagination Yeah, yeah I can hear you telling that they are not myths but real facts. Well, you may be right .I don't have a time turner with me, to exactly know what happened*. They would have probably succeeded to an extent, but there might be some younglings who were skeptical about it.

What would have happened if a calamity had befallen the human beings? What would have been their reaction?? There is a possibility for two reactions as far as my brain *a below average one* could think. They would have lost faith in their beliefs or the most common nature of human being would have kicked in. They would have assumed that the Gods were angry and the head person might have come up with some ritual which would be a solution to the problem in the first place or a sick ritual just for their pleasure.*Assumption is the root cause for all troubles, I say*.

Well, what if the people lost faith? They would have started preaching to others and the doubts lingering in the younglings skeptical of the beliefs would have started to haunt them and so the search for the so called TRUTH, very well aided by their brain. For they knew, they can't just bluff. If they wanted others to believe them, they needed some proof. And so they set on their journey and worked towards it

In the meantime, different clans would have come across each other and found their beliefs to be different. So the concept of religion would have blossomed. They might have compared the result of the other clans' rituals, gods with their own. Initially they would have adopted some changes into their religions, but later fought on the supremacy of their religions.*of course ego would have kicked in, if the other clan's gods were more beautiful, there by inferring that their imagination is far better.*

Amidst these things, some human beings might have been born with gifts. And their actions would have been so sincere and passionate, that people felt that it was a divine experience to be with them and followed them and considered them to be blessed. It isn't those gifted people's fault *Well, I am not talking about the ones faking it!!* They would have just wanted to help. Well, at least I think it was that way. Or they would have loved all the attention that they were getting. God Who knows *Oops Strike that :-P*

So what happened to the people or people who lost belief and set out to find proof?  Well, on the way to find the proof of the truth, they did discover many wonderful things that provided some credibility to their arguments. But they wanted the people with beliefs to come out of the ignorance and blamed religion and God for all the problems in this world. *Well, I am confused*. They don't believe in God, right?  Then how can they blame something or someone they don't believe in. They should be blaming human being. They are the root cause for all the chaos and they choose ignorance. Let them be. Why do the non-believers try so hardly to make the believers see sense ?  Out of care ?? *yeah, right* Nope ,they wanted to prove them wrong.*Well , yeah, there are people who really do care(both theists and atheists). And I respect them*

Like the conflict between different religions, there arose a conflict between the believers and the non-believers. Reason, you ask? The believers wanted the non-believers to accept their version of truth and vice versa.*Duh the name sounds dumb* There can't be someone who is a non-believer. Cause that person strongly believes that there is no such thing as God. So he/she does believe in something. So how can u call that person as a non-believer??

  They argued, fought for a stand ,forcing their opinions on each other, trying their level best to convince each other. And they still do. It is kind of irritating sometimes. I can hear it. People have right to express opinions. I agree. They are entitled to give voice to their opinions , but not stuff it on others. It would be just wonderful, if people agree to that.

So I hear you asking, what am i? Do I believe in God or Not? Well, I do believe in something which is along the line My life's destination is set by the kind of thoughts running in my mind.

.

P.S: I know ,people might find  there  is no reasonable logic Please feel free to drop a mail if u wanna tell that  I should stop writing such a dump.